Don't change your dream. Give it a new direction

It sometimes so happens in life that we don't get what we deserve, we don't get what we had planned for our future, we don't get things we had actually worked hard for..
Sometimes when our wishes don't get fulfilled( P.S- I'm not talking about Cinderella wonderland glittery wishes, but Real Life core wishes), its because God's wishes are much more higher than what we actually wish for ourselves..

We often see people around us going into depression, people who flunk in their board exams, who haven't bagged a job that they deserved, who have failed in their initial business plans, whose love stories fail.. When such situations arise with women ,they may sit on their sofa crying and eating ice-cream and chocolates, blaming God for it . That might make up your mood, but would increase calories too ;). [We can do it for an hour, for a day, for 4-5 days , BUT NOT more than that !!].. Men would either get angry on others, or rather isolate themselves and get more hard on their heart. In short, its actually NOT easy for everyone to handle failures.

Its not easy to give up on your dream. Its not easy to see a new dream again. But its easy to give your dream a new direction.
Same thing happened with me ...

Any student in Boards (Especially "Science" stream) would obviously be going through a lot of trauma. Early morning tuition at 5, going home for bath, followed by School - Home- Lunch- Tuition- Dinner - Tuition - Home - Sleep - Wake - AgainTuition !!! This schedule loop story lasts for 2 years. Only a Science student would understand this situation - We are like a PG at our own house, who visits home just for bath-food-sleep.. !!!
Now these were the details about the preparations for boards. But, the scene during your results is more dreadful. All of your family friends and relatives who haven't talked to you since million years would especially call you on your result day.. In fact they would call you before even your result is put online ("Beta apna ExamId de do mujhe.. online result dekhke tumko bata dungi..";))

Now in all this drama, if your result happens to be below expectations, there's again a new drama altogether. Sometimes people around us make us feel extra sad about our failures even more than what we ACTUALLY feel !!

So, my result came. It was 58.80% .. and along with practicals 62.15% . Obviously I was shattered. I expected my minimum result to be above 70% .  My family was also disappointed, but they didn't show it to me. And I started my round of crying.. To that, my cousin Nazir called me up..

Nazir: Tune tto saare cousins me Top kiya !!
Me(Still Crying): What are you saying.. Top ??
Nazir: Yesssss...
     See, I had scored 51% in my 12th, and right now I'm working at the best position in TataSky.
     Your brother Asif, he scored 54% and he's in the only MNC of Ahmedabad,
     You my friend, you've scored much more than us. So just imagine how successful would you be !!
Me: You seriously feel so ??
Nazir: Mai kabhi serious nai hota Sheru  ;)
         You maintained our family tradition of scoring below 60% my sister..!!  
         Believe me you gonna do great in future ... Cheer upppppp ..
Me(Finally Smiling): Okay..

After many such small small inspirational supports, I managed convincing myself to accept my result and work further. I filled forms for engineering everywhere. But in Science stream, any score below 80% is a slang. You wouldn't get admission in any fine University. Sadly I didn't get admission in any good college in Ahmedabad. Either I had to leave my city, or get an admission in management quota. Both options weren't feasible for me. Again I got upset. Again the crying sessions.Then my bhai suggested me a course of BCA. It was also based on computers, so I decided to enroll for it.

I got admission in CPICA. It was not a very well known college. Not the best in Ahmedabad, but a well appreciated college for its environment and studies.
It was the first day of my college and my mom had come along to drop me. For any student the first of college is always exciting. You roam around the campus, see students, see faculties. While roaming, I stopped by a wall. That wall had big banners of photographs of the rankers. I got so impressed watching it, that I told mom randomly "Mummy, ek dinn mera bhi photo idhar aayega". My mom and I we both knew that I was speaking it kiddishly in the heat of the moment, I didn't mean it. (I always had this tiny little wish of getting my photograph in newspaper)

My college started, it was going super cool. During my mid-sem exams, I was the topper of my college to my shock. I was not amongst the serious Chatur type toppers. I was the most talkative and most scolded topper. It was like a family there. We had a wonderful bonding with our faculties.
Once I asked my ma'am
Me: "Do we need to study very hard to get a rank in the University exam ?? One senior di I know,             she scored 6th rank in University, and her photo came in our ISMAILI magazine, its a moment           of pride Ma'am.. I want my photo in that magazine too.. "
Ma'am : "Its not too tough.. Especially for you.. And beta if u get a rank in University exam, your             photo will not only come in your magazine, but in newspapers too"
Me: "I want ittttt... My mom would be very proud"
Ma'am: "You will get it"

To this my friend Dhruvisha said - "Aameen" . I always have a habit of saying Aameen.. But in       scenes where my friends say Aameen before me, God listens to it WITHOUT Fail.. :)

And it did come true. My Final University results came. My friend called and informed me that I had topped my college. I and mom were very happy. We hugged each other. I informed dad and bhai..
But then I again got a call "Sheris taaro University ma rank chhe !!!!".. I was shocked. I was praying it my mind that it should be in Top 10.. "UNIVERSITY MA 1st RANK CHHE taaro !!!! "
And there I was. Numb. Awestruck. I hadn't ever thought in my life that I would EVER top in University. Not 3rd, Not 2nd, I got 1st RANK !!!! Truely Unexpected !!
That night, I repaid for all the tears that my family had shed secretly during my 12th poor results.

Soon my funnily said sentence came true.. A new banner was made with my photograph at the top. That banner was placed in my college exactly at the entrance. I love to see the pride on my bhai's face everytime he sees that banner. If he wouldn't have got me enrolled for this course, all this wouldn't have happened..To not forget, I even had a newspaper interview.[Although hyped, but finally a celebrity type feeling for the first time in life ;)]

We never know God's plans for us. So we should not even disturb it.
Had I got a better result and joined any engineering college, I would never have topped there. I never would've fulfilled my dream of getting my photograph in the newspaper.
We all have wishes to fly in air, to be in a reputed college, to work in the best company. But sometimes it depends on you how make a less known place, a better place. Sometimes staying on land may give you much more than flying in the air...


When your feet land in a better way than your wings fly...
Dreaming your dreams will never make you cry..

When after your failures, you learn to enjoy your defeat..
You then be Yourself, and there's no need to cheat ...

When you're sure God will end you up at the best..
You then need not worry about the rest..

When you realize that just flying is not everything..
Its even fun even staying on land sometimes and jumping..

Coz you never know when your small jump would take a flight itself ..
And you'll fly as you always wished to see yourself .. :) :) :)

Spread happiness, coz it'll embrace you back.

Earlier was a time when people used to be selfless, care for the other person first, even cross seas just to see one another ("Saat Samundar" types...), but now it is as "Aaje Activa service ma gai chhe, kaale maliye ?? ;) ".  Practicality has entered into everyone's nerves as such - If you are useful to me, I'll be useful to you too. Everyone has become selfish. They'll do things for you, but always be hungry of return backs..

One funny incident occurred on friendship's day. One of my tuition mates called out my name "Sheris, Friendship band chhe ??" , And I was like "Ha Reema, chhe ne .. Su thayyu ??". She came to me , tied me a friendship band, n stood waiting... (Oh God, this girl wants a friendship band !!!) ...I took out one band from my bag, n tied it to her. And, the very next second, she disappeared, No Greetings, Nothing !!! ... This was the smallest example of what goes on people's minds.

Well... I'm also hungry of return backs, No doubt about that.
I'm not hungry of materialistic things,but of affection, care and love . (That's bad to be such again .. Especially in today's time, I'm trying to change it.... Lil bit ... ;))

But again, what goes on in people's mind is immaterial , when your heart is pure. I believe,that matter what happens, I should be the way I'm, should help people, should try and make people happy. Their happiness in turn will become my happiness. But its a very difficult thing. It sounds cool, But its very difficult to make people happy (Coz for that you first yourself need to be happy from inside. Imagine a saddist person, with an acidic face trying to crack a joke :P, he'll make other 10 people around him upset too ;))....
You have to stay gracious,charming and alive enough to spread positivity around ...

But you can't be a Hero all the time, even you face lapses.
Same thing happened with me...

I always love listening to my friend's problems, to their sorrows, to solve their problems (Its kind of my hobby.. ;)) There was a time in my past semesters, that the sorrows of my friends increased a lot. Everyday some or the other was upset, someone was crying, someone was angry.It became hell lot difficult to handle them all (Although I'm shortest of all of them, I love them as my kids...they listen to me and do as I say too ;))

So, I had a tough time taking care of all of them, keeping them all cheerful. I myself had my set of problems-sorrows-irritation too, but I didn't bring it out to them. I kept it all inside me, and continued my support service for them. One night , all that frustration was so suppressed inside me, that I got super angry on my mom just because the food wasn't tasty.. (This is it !! We can shout and howl just at our home, outside we have to be a sane human being)....
So by my unnecessary over reaction, my dad came upto me and asked me the reason for it... And I narrated the story to him as a kid of nursery says 123456  .. speedily..
Dad: Sheris ....Calm down... 

Me:  Dad, I'm tired, 'Im tired....
        I'm tired of taking care of them... 
        Tired of listening to sad stories..  Tired of making things work out... 
        All of their sadness comes into me..
Dad:But, you do good work by solving your friends problems, by being their shoulder to cry on...
Me:  Thats true ... But .... 
         I'm....
         You mean to say that I should not give up on them ?? 
Dad: You sure you bring happiness to them ??
Me:  I think so ... 
Dad: Then never give up .. Never Ever give up...
        And regarding your frustrations... I''m always there to listen ... 
Me:  Oh Daddy.....How do you do this everytime.... 

(And he just gave me a smile, and tears dropped down by my eyes...)

 The next day at college, I was same heroic, same nautanki, same person who would try to make people more together, more cheerful ,and more happy....      

If we think logically-selfishly, If in a day, I make 7-10 people happy, Atleast 1 or 2 of them may try to make me happy when I'd be sad (I know this is not the purest way of living life, But ye Zulmy Zamaana, What to do... )
Here's a small silly proof..
There is a cute little kid of 6-7 years at my prayer hall. Everyday when I see him,I run to him and pull his cheeks. Every single day..
One day I was in a foul mood and was sitting in a corner alone. He came and stood in front of me, waiting for me to pull his cheeks. When I didn't do that, he came near and pulled my cheeks, again looked at me awaited .Again I didn't do anything. He came forward and kissed me on my cheeks and smiled at me..I was so amazed and happy by his affection.Just took him in my arms and pulled his cheeks as per my everyday tradition...(And from the very next moment.. All sadness vanished, and a hero again ;))

When you start finding happiness in life's small small moments, you wouldn't have to go searching for it. Make people smile around you. Make them happy. All this will ultimately return back to you only.

 It is tough to deal with some realities of life..
But its easy to overshadow them with a spark of happiness...

Behind closed eyes are the dreams incomplete..

but reel and real can never compete...

A ray of hope lies amongst the fake..

changing the scene of life at a single take...

All will come and wave..

But no one will join you in the grave...

Gain or loss is in the hands of fate..

No one can change it soon or late...

Despite all this ....
Make life worth by spreading smiles..
And thus , cheer many lives ... 

 

Be "Angelic Demon" OR "Demonic Angel" ???

Today's world is a "Hi-tech cool Kalyug" where often innocent people are viewed as villians and the wicked ones as heroes  [Although being villian is the latest trend ;) ] people do fail to recognize the difference between the original and the fake.
          The fact is,  inside everyone of us , there are two personalities ... One is the Angel and other,obviously the devil !! Now , it depends on us.. which personality do we actually want to carry !!
Well , one more fact is,  too much of formal and philosophical stuff bores people [Just like my above paragraph.. I know ;)]

               So then I came up with a new term "Angelic Demon" .. This is for all those who love the show-off business, the butter-spread talks, the overwhelming sweetness etc etc... who'd outside be " Oh wow, Your dress looks lovely ... What a selection of design.. Wonderful color shades...." , and inside "She was looking like a vanity van, wish I could tell her that her dress color got me a headache " :P :D :D ....
(This is mostly done with "The boss ";))

This HAS to be done in today's world .... Its necessary.. Bcoz you cannot stay blunt each and every moment. But this just depends on the type of people you are with. To few persons, you have to be sweet, gentle and polite. But be sure you do not turn out to be "Extra-sweet" , "Extra-gentle" and "Extra-polite" , coz there are high chances that your boss would simply kick you out :P
               Similarly, if same scenario repeats with my bestfriend .. I'll give 500 slangs, push her to the change room, and curse her lifetime for wearing something like that :P [N I'm sure she will do the same to me , I've Experienced ;) ]. These are our "Demonic-Angel" category people. 

          The problem is,we are resistant to people with whom we haven't gelled up ever till now, and so we don't try too...  I also knew one such girl in my school days - Aditi.. I and her were cool with each other till 2nd Std.. Just when 3rd std started.. We had an awesome fight over biscuits. She was throwing them on me NON-STOP(Which irritated me like hell !!!!), I told her to stop doing that, I warned her, Scolded her, and at last I pushed her so that atleast by it that stupid girls "fun- of -throwing -biscuit - bits-on-me" stops .
 
        But I didn't know she would be of my breed too ;) ... She pushed me back..And then the cat fight began.... We both had each others nail imprints on our hands. It was literally a furious nail fight [On which right now I can laugh, but I still remember that it had hurt me horribly at that time, I had small nails :( ] The fight ended by the entry of her younger sister scolding me (YES!! Younger sister who was totally tom Boyish !! ) . Her dialogues were " Meri behen ko haath kaise lagaaya .. abhi tujhe theek karti hoon.... ." and she scared both of us apart ;).. Since that day we stopped talking to each other. Entire school knew that we didn't like each other. My friends used to address her to me as "Aditi - your best friend" and laugh at me... And same was the story on her side ....

         Many years passed by ...I noticed that she had changed a lot, and turned on to be a pretty mature girl... She had made many close friends, and was sweet to everyone, except me ( It doesnt mean that I didnt have enough friends ;)).. Our 10th Std was going on.One day as usual while returning home,my thinking session was going on. My van wala Rashid uncle gave me a concerned look... n I started narrating him the entire story - "Par meri hi kyu nai banti usse.. Meri kya galti.... Sabki banti hai, Mujhe wo aur uski behen bilkul pasand hi nai hai "... I pity Rashid uncle. He has to listen to my nonsense stories every week. He began saying "Beta, tu baat karna shuru kar. Bas shuru kar. teri usse banne lagegi ... Bas shuru me thoda makkhan maarna zarur". And there was a wide smile at my face.. Entire picture got clear in my head, and I knew what I had to do ...
   
        I returned home and logged into my messenger. Opened her chat. (No chat history till now ;).. So, it was Shubharambh).
Me: Hey hiii...
Aditi: Hiiii....
Me: Nice profile picture , very sweet ...  :) [ It was okaishhh photo,but the "makkhan maaring mode" was on]
Aditi: Yours too dear.. Looking cute...
[And there I was ...She replied so sweetly that I forgot all past grievances at that very second ]
          That day we had chat with each other for 3 hours.. Sharing each others feelings for being so stupid to fight as that...Laughing about what would be people's reaction when they'll come to know that Sheris- Aditi started talking to each other ;), etc etc etc...

          Although the step the I took was almost on fake basis. But unless and until it resulted into success, the fake base was immaterial. I and her won't ever be best of friends, I know. But atleast we'll talk to each other, stay in contact...Sometimes having casual friends is cool too. Sometimes just being sweet works.. (But don't expect it to work everytime, coz people out are very smart, they'll catch you ;))
          No matter what happens later, but one should always try to keep the strings attached. Keep good relations with as many people possible. No one is going to get an award by being a ''serious-rude-introvert'', so why not be an active person. So, for all those who were hesitant like me till now,  Cut the rope and talk to all your old friends with whom you haven't cared to message or call during all this time. You may not feel very special, but they'd be contented in their heart talking to you.. Make people smile. Make people feel special, which in turn will make you feel special ...
  
           So, a blend of both "Angelic - demon" and "Demonic-angel " should be applied as and when required based on situations ... And for all those who are still looking up for a sign to take a step forward .. Thats what my poetry says , THIS IS IT ....

Behind all the wrongs and rights

Beside all the days and nights

There again starts a new life, a new day..

A beautiful new morning, apart from the merry go round till date

That strange stretch line between faith And fate..

The sweet sound that mellows you down,that takes you to the world of your own.

An eye on an eye, a life on a life, may it be known or unknown ..

A spirit to smile, and a spirit to bring smiles

To walk all by your own,walk ways and miles..

Cheers to the life, cheers to the creator of it

To the soul, that knows, This is it..

 

 

 

Change For The CHANGE

This is, for all those who out of their busy lives, miss out on "something" in their life ..
Some, who miss out on showing their feelings to loved ones..
Some, who miss out on laughing loud on silly things ...
And Most importantly , Some, who miss themselves, who miss being passionate ..
You definitely need to ""change"" according to the change that has come in your lives.

         It happens with everyone of us - When we see people perform things finely (Which , we secretly know we can do better than them ) . Watching them for an instance, we feel a bit jealous and irritated.
Its natural , Its Obvious.
Same situation occurred with me during an Institute event.

         There was this irritating girl Richa who stood up to give a speech on "Women's day" .
Irritating - Because she always behaves extra sweet, extra buttery, extra overwhelming, extra polite, extra Whatever ... I find such people fake.. Eyyyuuuuuu ...
She had a good  impression of hers everywhere since she stepped into the University. ( And in my mind, I always knew that she's just an average girl, just that she is free, so gets to involve in things [Normal Girl -To- Girl Jealousy factor, YOU KNOW ;)])
She started off her speech little panicky. ( Ahhhhhhh, Ofcourse I'm a better Speaker than her).
Slowly and steadily her speech started becoming little little interesting .. In that course of time, I didn't realize the fact that I was ACTUALLY listening patiently to her without making any unnecessary false comments in my mind ( But actually, she had worn a dress that didn't suit her, She was trying to speak extra sweetly to get sympathy from people, Her accent got irritating at moments .... Arrrghhhhh ..)

But eventually these thoughts also vanished, and I was totally engrossed in simply listening to her.
Deep down, there felt a little guilt in me.. What if I'm so busy in my life that I don't get to speak in public, it doesn't mean that others wont speak too. At least others are taking out time for it.
Its my fault that I gave up on doing the thing I loved the MOST - "Speaking " ...
It is was my passion. It was my talent.
And today , watching someone else speak nicely, I so much MISS MYSELF ... I so much miss that time when I used to be a Star ..( I can consider myself a Star currently too, But that would be too overboard, so I skip it)

So ...
As soon as that Silly Girl's ACTUALLY effective speech ended.
I had a smile on my face. And I realized that even though people outside are more talented than you, ,more smart than you... If you JUST be YOURSELF, not give up on your passion and stay pure in your thoughts. You'll definitely be valued too.
For that , You should first learn to appreciate other people for their talents.

I stood up from my place to congratulate her for her speech heartily. ( For that I waited 20 minutes for her to get free , BUSY GIRL ;)). She truly spoke well.

AND , Before letting my mom taunt me by praising her . I went up and said "Mumma what a speech Richa gave, Very nice na"...
[REASON FOR DOING THIS]
Even today when my mom hears someone else speak well .. Her sarcastic reaction would be : ""Everyone comes out and delivers such tremendous speeches , EXCEPT my daughter "". She'd scold me for not flaunting my talent too much in public. And I'd always give my set of reasons, and end up taking out flaws in others ( There's no other way out to win my mom in a Conversation ;) )

At the end I said - " Mom , just give me sometime. A correct moment will come, when your daughter will shine too "...
My Mom - "You have all the time in the world beta "

Bottom line of the story ..
At some point of time you need to change things. You cannot simply keep dreaming that things will sort down by themselves. You've got to work in Reality for yourselves, and then the world is yours..
That's what my poetry states below :

Miracles are those dreams that are not even dreamt off

But the dreams and real together stay sign off..

World is all together different when you change your view

As life needs both, the cast and the crew..

Be crazy,to stay different where everyone is different

But be weak enough to let out your heart..

So let the matured you Speak ,And let the child you live..

B'coz there are no retakes to Relive ...